Take a seat

A tempting idea
to sit in the middle of nowhere
to just contemplate on the things that i've missed in my life
to dwel on the past
just to realize i'm 20
and that there's just nothing much to be proud of
ai such a depressing fact.
And bit by bit
day by day
i realize
i've been losing a part of myself
up to the point that i feel so empty
it's agonizing.
I'd like to just say
"give me time to sulk
and i'll pick myself up soon"
but i'm not sure of when i can do so this this time.
I do wonder if
people can tell that what's inside of me is dying
withering away
i've gotten a few comments
for my birthday
telling me to go do what i wanna do
is it possible they can tell
that i'm dying within?

I do not deserve to be known as
Freewill
no more.

Well... i'm in a blue mood
i know i made things this way by making a wrong move
bleh.
taken @ Long Valley